Be proud of me readers – I signed up for a writing course! Not a big, strenuous one, just a little six-weeker, online by Curtis Brown Creative.

I was quite nervous about this new adventure, having been scared away from most writing forums by my own feelings of inadequacy. Now I was suddenly plunged into the world of peer reviews when only one person had ever actually read what I have been working on.

Terrifying? Yes.

Exhilarating? Yes!

My emotions were on the Pepsi Max – one minute I was drowning in the treacle of my own insecurities and everyone else’s work looked like something even Wilbur Smith could only dream of. The next, I had received amazing feedback and I was on top of the world, ready to quit my job and become a full-time author. Cause it’s only a matter of time until I’m published and rolling in it, right?

Luckily, I didn’t. Instead I think of it as a valuable lesson and I want to share what it was really like with all you wonderful people.

The tasks set each week were invigorating, it was like being back at school and I loved every minute of it. The tasks were insightful, forcing me to look at my writing closer than ever before with a particular focus each week. After just one online task I had stripped almost a thousand words out of my first chapter and I can honeslty say I did not miss them. My writing was already better.

As the weeks passed I received excellent feedback, my confidence grew and I was bolstered and inspired to continue my book because I can do this.

Week five is my personal favourite, I was selected to receive feedback and author Anna Davis liked my writing. She actually commented that I (as in ME!) write nicely, and she wanted to read more. I was ecstatic.

Then came week six, the grand finale. We were sharing more to do with our books, being a sci-fi fantasy novel mines didn’t have much company in the genre on the course, but this had never been an issue in previous weeks.

Cue self-esteem disaster.

If I had a book deal for every person that wrote ‘I don’t really like this genre…’ Gutted. I had one glowing review which said, despite not liking the genre, this writer would love to read more and really enjoyed it. However, it was followed by a chain of dissatisfied readers.

The fundamental elements of my book were questioned – did it work as first person narrative? Is it definitely supposed to be for adults? Do I write well enough to make it feel like the reader is experiencing the character’s emotions first hand?

Urgh, it was painful. There were almost tears.

But, this is what I signed up for. I guess I forgot at some point during the course, because I had only ever received positive praise and not an ounce of criticism. I forgot I was putting myself out there for criticism, that was the point.

My writing is precious to me, not quite like having a child but definitely still important. My stories are living things, they grow and change with me, as my writing ability develops and takes on new skill and ideas. Having someone be critical is hard, almost physically painful at times, but it made me better. It made my writing better.

I took the other points of view and analysed them. I decided what was genuine feedback, meant to encourage my story and improve my writing and I focused on that. Some comments were irrelevant because I knew I thought the opposite, and I had to be confident in my style. It was such a tricky tight rope to walk – balancing other’s comments and using them for change whilst staying true to my own thoughts and style of writing.

At times I felt big-headed, that I was ignoring comments of other writers because I knew better when I wasn’t any more qualified than they were.

But here’s the thing, I was and am more qualified.

This is my book. These are my characters. I have to own that, if I don’t believe in my work, why should anyone ever pay to read it?

So here is my summary of my writing course people, it was amazing.

Fun for almost every second, educational and eye opening to the end. Take on people’s feedback, some have a great insight or fresh new eyes.

But always be true to your book.

Xo