What is it with Fifty Shades?

What is it with 50 Shades of Grey?

Okay, so I took a brave step and tentatively fessed-up to writing my novel to a few people at work. The first reaction of everyone? “Oh, so is it like 50 Shades of Grey?”

Um… no?

This is literally the reaction I get whenever I speak about writing, I can’t be alone in this, surely? But now I’m interested in the nation’s captivation by this now socially-acceptable erotic novel.

After reading rather extensively in this genre, I feel I am now able to comment and be relatively qualified doing so.

So… my first question… what is with all these sexually deviant people? Are there actually that many of them out there? If so I guess I have been unfortunate (or lucky?) not to have happened across one of the masses by now. Being happily married I suppose I now never will, unless after six years, husband suddenly comes home wearing a gimp mask and brandishing some knarly nipple clamps.

Another issue I’ve had with this – women don’t seem to have their time of the month? I don’t remember reading in the Twist Me trilogy, ‘Nora just wasn’t in the mood tonight. She was on her period and was so bloated that the thought of anal sex made her want to vomit in her mouth.’ Nope, just lots of ‘hardening instantly’, ‘slick and wet already’ and other various wording of sexual readiness. Now, don’t get me wrong, I quite enjoyed the books, but where is the reality element? It’s not a GOT fantasy novel, people!

Virgins and their orgasms the first time they are having sex? I can’t make up my mind what is less realistic – the unusually high numbers of nineteen-year-old virgins these books seem to find or the concept that their first time would really consist of orgasmic bliss from an alpha CEO or biker. Much more likely, it would take place somewhere closer to seventeen and the result would be an embarrassing, fumbling mess lead by a horny teenage boy still unembarrassed by his shameful poster of Billie Piper.

Does my book have sex scenes? Yes. Are they realistic? Well after this borderline bitchy post, I had better hope so!

Xo